Um Korrektur erbeten

Ich bin eine Niete in der Grammatik sowohl in Deutsch als auch in Englisch.

Bitte um hilfe wie ich folgenden Text besser schreiben könnten.

Good morning Jean,

thank you for your request xx.

Attached you will find our Proforma-invoice xx.
If you want to order, please remit the amount to our account.
Please be informed that our company closed from 24th December till 6. January,
therefore it is possible that it would come to a delivery delay.

Best regards,
Anita

Good morning Jean,

Thank you very much for your order of xx.

Attached please find our Proforma-invoice xx. In case you would like to order the offered goods, please be so kind to transfer the amount to our account.

Please be informed that our company will be closed from 24th December 2012 to 6th January 2013, therefore a delivery delay might be possible.

Danke Topolina - wünsche Dir einen schönen Tag